Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Overwhelmed

"Hey, Babe.... Did you hear that Robin Williams died?" I asked over dinner on Monday.

"He didn't die, he killed himself," The Agent answered.

"Well.... isn't that the same?"

"No."

"Well, at any rate, I think it's so sad. I mean, it would be terrible, no matter how he died. But to think that he thought life was so terrible that he thought this was the only way out.... I wish he could have gotten the help he needed." I was very much a fan of Robin Williams.

"He was overwhelmed," The  Agent said bluntly.

"Overwhelmed? Why do you think that?"

"When I was 15, I had a dream. I was standing at a lake, with a teaspoon in my hand. I had to drain the lake with the teaspoon, and I remember being so overwhelmed by the task. When I woke up, I still had such a feeling of being overwhelmed. I wanted to do anything to stop that feeling. And the only thing I could think of to stop that feeling was to go to the kitchen and grab a steak knife. I had to use every ounce of control I had not to walk in to the kitchen. If I did, if I allowed myself to walk in there, I knew I would seriously injure, or even kill, myself."

I was shocked. "Babe.... wow. Do you still feel like that? Do we need to get you in to therapy? I can't lose you."

The Agent shook his head and smiled. "Nah, that was just me being 15. That happens to every teenager, right?"

ummm.... no.




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3 comments:

  1. Its the sneaky side of depression that people don't even realize are there sometimes...

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    Replies
    1. Such a terrible disease... I pray for his family.

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  2. Depression is sneaky because people feel it has to be hidden. Many depressed people also feel shame for feeling depressed. We need to do more to help the mentally ill in this country.

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