Monday, April 14, 2014

Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter

Thankfully, Bug is only 8. But it's never too soon to plan ahead! So here, I've noted the ten most important dating rules.... that I will someday enforce. When she's like 23.

1. You are no more than a year older than her. There's not going to be any freshman-senior romances here. You will be her age or a year older. And I'm really being generous with the year older thing.

2. I have met you before. And preferably I've met your mama, too.

3. You will park your vehicle, walk up to the door, knock, and make small talk with her father. If you sit out front honking on your horn expecting my Bug to coming running out to you, you're going to be waiting a long time.

4. You will not call for a Friday night date on Friday afternoon. Bug needs at least a 24 hour notice. Any sooner would leave us to believe that your first choice cancelled on you.

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5. You will give me your cell phone number. And I will test it before you leave so I know it works.

6. You will be a gentleman. You will open every door for her. You will listen attentively to everything she says. You will compliment her beauty and wit. Repeatedly.

7. You will expect nothing from her.

8. You will get her home on time. If I say she needs to be home at midnight, you will not pull up at 12:15. You will pull up at 11:45.

9. You will walk her to the front door. You may give her a kiss on the porch-- I'm not a total prude-- but you will not have a full make out session. And know that I will be watching you. And so will her father. With a shotgun in his hands.

10. You will call the next day. I don't really care if you had a good time or not. You don't need to ask her out again. Just call, say you had a nice time, hope to do it again some time.


What do you think... too much? Did I miss any that are super important? What would you add to the list?


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Saturday, April 12, 2014

Haiku Monday Winner!

I had a lot of fun judging Haiku Monday!

SOME people  (not mentioning any names! :) ) implied that I was doing it wrong. I don't even care! I'm the boss around here! I make the rules!

It was super hard to judge. The Haiku Monday people have some amazing talent. I decided to narrow it down to three: 

The second place winner is Serendipity:


Trouble stalks prairie.
Interspecific contest.
Rapier bill wins!


Go to his website. His picture and explanation add to the meaning. Beautiful! 

The first runner up is Becca

tall, dark, good looking
eyes of ocean blue, smile sweet  
heart not cautious, broke

You know I'm a sucker for dark hair and light eyes. Drool. 

And now for the grand prize winner! It goes to Karl



When it hits the fan
One clear of mind, quick to act
Will likely prevail



I love that this completely embodies the theme without flat-out saying what the theme is. Love it! 

Go to Karl's blog to congratulate him and to see what his topic is for the next haiku Monday! 



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Thursday, April 10, 2014

The D Word

For the last three years, Bugs has had a major crush on Tony, a boy at her school. I've written about him here and here and even mentioned him here.


The other day, Bug and I were driving home and she asked, "Mom, what exactly is DIVORCE?"

God bless her that she has lived eight years and has not heard this term yet.

"Well, it means when two people were married, and they decide they don't want to be married anymore and they want to live apart, that's a divorce. Why, where did you hear that?"

"I asked Tony why he didn't come to David's party last week, and he said he was staying with his dad. I said, 'So, I stay with my dad every day,' and he said his parents were DIVORCED and it means that they don't love each other anymore."

"Well, I suppose that's true, to a degree."

"So, where does Tony sleep at night?"

"I'm guessing he probably spends some time with his mom and some time with his dad. That's probably why he couldn't come to the party. If I only got to see you on the weekends, I probably wouldn't want to give you up for three hours so you could go to a party."

Bug thought about this for a moment. "But where does Tony live?"

"I don't know, Baby. Somewhere in town, I'm sure. But I don't really know his mom, so I don't know where she lives, and I don't think I've ever even met his dad. Poor thing. It's got to be hard for Tony."

"Why would it be hard for him?"

"Well, think about it. He has to travel back and forth between his parents' houses, probably never knowing for sure where he's going to be the next night. And doesn't he have a little brother, like BK's age? Poor thing, he probably doesn't even understand."

Bug was silent for a bit. "Mommy?"

"Yes, Baby?"

"Are you and Daddy going to get DIVORCED?"

"Oh, no. Dad and I love each other very much."



Plus, no one could possibly ever put up with his crap the way I do.

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Tuesday, April 8, 2014

52 in 52 update

We are one month into 2014! It's time to regroup and see how I'm doing on my list.

As you can see, there's a lot of red, which means I'm not even close to meeting the goal. Blue means I'm kinda sorta making the goal. Green means it was a success!

1. Go to the gym 300 days. 35/300 I'm going to have to change this goal next year. 
2. Lose 30 pounds. 1/30-- Boo!
3. Log everything I eat least three times a week. nope.
4. Drink at least 80 ounces of water a day. I definitely do it on gym days.... the problem is I've only been going  to the gym three days a week
5. Be able to button all my "skinny girl" jeans yeah, right.
6. Take a picture at least 10 days a month Success!
7. Donate 40 bags of stuff for Lent In process-- I don't think I'm going to get to 40 bags, but at least I have SOME. That's a success! 
8. Spend 1 day a month organizing the house. Success!
9. Yell less. I'm trying. 
10. Read 31 books. 5/31
11. Fix the utility closet. Success!
12. Donate to Good Will. nope
13. Fly a kite. no
14. Teach Bug to ride a bike. She rode her bike without training wheels once, but we haven't gone out again since then, so I'm not quite ready to call this a success. 
15. Wear a bikini in public. no... I wore a tankini in public and then almost started crying when I saw a picture of myself. 
16. Take BK to Chuck E. Cheese. no
17. Get a raise. Success!
18. Get a promotion. I really don't see this happening... 
19. Plant flowers in the whiskey barrels. Bought the plants, but haven't planted them yet. 
20. Keep flowers alive until December. Come see me in December
21. Cut and color hair in April, August, and December. I had my hair cut and colored in February. My plan was to go in May or June, but I see too many gray roots so I may have to go this month after all. 
22. Get a pedicure every month from May through September. Come see me in May
23. Do something special for our tenth anniversary. Any ideas for this? It's in September!
24. Get a massage for Mother's Day.
25. Host an adult party.
26. Throw a birthday party for Bug. Success!
27. Throw a birthday party for BK. I can't get him to tell me who his friends are
28. Clean the back door. Success!
29. Teach the Dumb Dog to use a leash. no
30. Teach BK to swim Summer is coming! 
31. Sign Bug up for the swim team We went to the information meeting, and try outs are next month.
32.  Hang pictures on the walls. Whoo hoo! We have officially hung not one, not two, but THREE pictures! It only took us three years... 
33. Have a blast on a cruise Success! 
34. Write one fictional piece at least once a month. 2/12 been writing Haiku's lately!
35. Clean the ashes out of the fire place. No
36.  Make an apron for Bug. No
37. Turn our backyard into a place I want to be. No
38. Work on having the house "popover guest" ready at all times. (does a quick look around) No. My house is crazy messy. 
39. Take the children to The City. No
40. Put a fire pit in the back yard. No
41. Take BK on a date. No
42. Take Bug on a date. No
43. Take the children to the snow. Success!
44. Seriously organize the master bedroom. This was a success.... but it has since gotten crazy again.  
45. Turn the second master closet into.... something better. On the list of things to do
46.  Turn our bedroom into a sexy oasis. Not really
47.  Enforce a chore system with the children Got one in place for Bug! 
48.  Open a bank account for Bug. no
49.  Give the children an allowance every week. We've been paying Bug every Sunday! I need to keep more cash on hand... 
50. Make the children start buying their own presents for friends out of allowance money no... The Agent and I are in disagreement over this. 
51. Make the children pick out and pay for a present for each other at birthdays and Christmas. BK did this! He picked out a birthday present for Bug!
52. Write a new list of 52 things.




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Monday, April 7, 2014

Haiku Monday

Guess what?

Remember how I wrote a haiku last week? Well, Becca chose mine as the winner! Happy dance!


(although The Agent was a little sad that his wasn't chosen..... sorry Sweetie)

So, the reward for winning Haiku Monday is that you have to pick the theme for the next week, and you have to be the judge for everyone who submits a Haiku.

OK, so let's get this party started! You can submit 2 Haikus for submission. Don't forget to follow the 5-7-5 formula-- 5 syllables on the first line, 7 syllables on the second line, and 5 syllables on the third line.

The theme I've chosen for this week is Trouble. Here's mine:

I must say goodnight
Can't think with your hands on mine
This mistake will cost

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Here's another one:

Broken vase was found
It wasn't me I promise
In time out again


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And here's what The Agent wrote:

First you pop it down
Then you move your piece around
What a silly game

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Now it's your turn! Post your haiku in the comments and I'll choose the winner this Friday!






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Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Marshmallow Peep Pops


With Easter just around the corner, here's a treat that's super easy and that your kids will love! 

Ingredients: 
Peeps (bunnies or chicks-- I used bunnies)
melting chocolate (you can use any color but I like it to look like chocolate)
toppings of choice (I used rainbow sprinkles and chopped walnuts, but you can use whatever you like)
Lollipop sticks



This is so simple! Just dip your peep in melted chocolate, then add sprinkles and a stick!







Aren't they so cute? You can cover the entire back side with chocolate, or just their bottom half so it looks like they're poking out of a field of candy sprinkles! OH! How about taking some coconut that you've dyed green, so it looks like the bunny is poking out of the grass? Adorbs!








Give these to your kids to gobble up! They will love them!




Have you made any cute Easter crafts this year? 


Mama’s Losin’ It

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Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Too Old To Rock?



We were walking out of a restaurant the other day, and Bug found a CD jacket on the ground:



This is Kory Gibbs, a 13-year-old guitar player who plays a lot of gigs in the small little foothill towns that surround me. He's no prodigy, but he's certainly better than what I could ever do. I would dance to him if I heard him playing in a bar.

Bug was quite taken with him. We caught her kissing the paper, much to The Agent's dismay. "Bug! Stop that! You found that on the GROUND! You don't know where that's been!" I'm not sure if he was grossed out that she was kissing a cootie-ridden picture, or that she was kissing ANY picture of a boy.

I was more concerned about why a 13-year-old boy is in a band with two 40-year-old men. Couldn't he have found a 14-year-old singer and a 12-year-old drummer? Who are these two older men? And don't they feel strange about being in a band with boy who can barely call himself a teenager? I'm not sure that this is sending the right message.

What do you think? Is it inappropriate for two adult men to be in a band with a child? Or are there no age boundaries when it comes to rockin' out?



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