Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Heather's Story

This is my friend Heather: 



 
9 years ago, only 3 months after giving birth to a beautiful baby girl, Heather was diagnosed with Pleural Mesothelioma. Her father was a drywall worker, and years of hugging her father every night, while he was still wearing his asbestos-filled coat and work clothes had taken its toll. Heather was given a grim diagnosis: 15 months to live. 

Luckily, death wasn't on Heather's agenda. She and her husband opted for a new cutting-edge treatment, including an 8-hour surgery and then a chemo regiment. 

Today, Heather is cancer-free, and she now devotes her time to educating others about this terrible disease, and what can be done to stop it. 

Learn about Heather's story and find out more at:  http://www.standup2cancer.org/blog/view/the_lighthouse_effect  


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Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Just your average Christmas party

I had my department holiday party last week, so The Agent and I got a babysitter and went out in an effort to be social.

I didn't tell The Agent until we were on our way that there wouldn't be any alcohol there.

The Agent is pretty shy, and he needs some "liquid courage" in order to endure the small talk required at these things. So he sat in a corner at the party, listening to the conversation around him and silently cussing me for not allowing him to drink before we arrived.

But what he didn't know, and I did, was that with the people I work with,  you don't need to drink in order to be entertained.

Allow me to give you a few conversation nuggets:

One of my coworkers was telling The Agent a story  about a mutual coworker who keeps a jar of cashews at his desk. She had grabbed a handful of cashews out of the jar, but then dropped the jar on the floor, making a huge mess.

"So I'm kneeling on the floor with Tom's nuts in my hand, and I really wanted to eat them, but everyone was staring at me." She doesn't even realize how sexual she sounds, and The Agent is nearly choking trying to hold himself together.

"You really like Tom's nuts then, do you?" The Agent asked with a straight face.

"I LOVE them!"
His nuts are in her hands


****************

At another point, I heard someone tell The Agent that it's a proven fact that people who fold their toilet paper have IQ's 30 to 60 points higher than people who crumple their toilet paper.

"How would you even  test that?" The Agent asked.

"My cousin wrote his senior thesis on it. He got an A. Think about it the next time you're on the john."

It was time to call it a night at that point.

there is a surprisingly large amount of choices if you google scrunch v fold

The Agent and I thanked our hostess for a lovely evening, and I said goodbye to my coworkers. The Agent opened the car door for me, helped me in, then got in himself and drove away.

"Babe," he said, "You work with some effin'  crazy people."

I laughed while The Agent spent the next ten minutes ranting. "How do you not have the best numbers in your department? How is the crazy not rubbing off on you? You are officially not allowed to talk to any of them. Seriously, Babe. How do you make it at work every day? Everything I heard was crazier than the last.  I really needed to pee, but I didn't want to miss anything!"

"Well, and then plus everyone would have asked you if you folded or crumpled the paper."





 
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Monday, December 15, 2014

Weekend Update



I think I mentioned already (or maybe you noticed from my lack of posts) that I had to travel for work this week. This was a very eventful trip, but I'm not sure that any of it is blog worthy. I also went to my work party, which was VERY blog worthy! Stay tuned for the story of that craziness.

Friday was uneventful, other than I got passed up for yet another promotion. The guy who got the job actually has the least amount of tenure out of everyone who applied. But I'm ok with that. I would rather have them promote someone without a lot of time with the company, because at least I don't know what kind of worker he is. If they had hired anyone else, I would have been more upset, because then I would have KNOWN that I was a better worker than that!

But here's the weird part. They called a floor meeting so they could announce this guy's promotion. The main boss of the office was  talking, doing general announcements, and the guy walked up to the front, whispered that he'll be right back, and walked right out of the office.

I was standing next to one my closest girlfriends from the office, who also happened to be the hiring manager for this promotion. From the positions we were in, we're the only ones who would see out the window. We had a clear view of this guy, who just got promoted. He was outside, pacing on the sidewalk. It appeared that he was talking to himself.

"Who is he talking to?" my girlfriend whispered to me. "Is there someone out there? Is he on his phone?"

"He's definitely not on his phone, and there's no one else out there," I answered. "What's wrong with him?"

"He looks manic. Is he bi-polar?"

"Dude, you hired a crazy person."

At this  point, we could see the guy take a deep breath and walk back inside. "Are you ok???" I mouthed to him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he whispered back. "Nerves, I guess."

Welcome to the head of operations.

*******

On Saturday, I wrapped every present  and addressed all our Christmas cards. It feels so good to have that done! We also finished our teacher gifts:


I love how these little books turned out! I'll see if I can do a tutorial later this week.

Nothing else exciting happened on Saturday. The fact that I have all the Christmas presents wrapped is exciting enough.

*******

Sunday found us being social! The kids were invited to two cookie decorating parties: one in the morning, one in the afternoon. BK made the mistake of eating every cookie he decorated, so I wasn't able to take a picture. Here's Bug with hers: 


After eating 27 million cookies, BK wasn't in any shape to make it to the next party, so he stayed home with The Agent while Bug and I went to round two with her friends from school:


She came home with a belly ache, and joined BK on the sofa to watch a Wild Kratt marathon.

And I was finally done playing chauffeur and was able to drink a Captain and Diet.

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Tuesday, December 9, 2014

The Protector

The kids and I were shopping on Saturday and we stopped for lunch at Five Guys. Ever been there? Far superior to In N Out or Habit or Smash Burger. Anyway, we're there, eating our burgers, and in walks a boy and his dad. The boy was maybe 10, tall and slender, cute. He had spiky hair, which I was particularly fond of.

Now, Bug has never been one to really care about her appearance. She was wearing cut off jean shorts over black leggings and plain blue tshirt. Her hair was down and tangled. I didn't think much of it. That's just how my child looks.

So, this boy and his dad are eating, and we're eating, and no one else is in the restaurant. Bug asked if she could go to the bathroom. Yes, you may.

Five minutes later, Bug comes out of the bathroom. She has her hair tied up  in a low side pony tail, Elsa style. She's washed her face and she added Chapstick.

Celeb-Inspired Holiday Hairstyles
I'm sure she thought she looked exactly like T-swift.
"You look nice," I said. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Bug said casually. "I just went to the bathroom." And then she looked over her shoulder and made eye contact with the boy.

Oh, gross.

"Wait.... do you know that boy?"

"Who, him? No, I don't know him. I've never seen him before."

"Then why are you acting like that?"

"Like what? I'm just, you know.... I don't know."

"Yeah, I don't know either. You're 8. And I don't like his spiky hair. Let's go."

 We got up to leave. BK had been pretty silent up until this point. But as we passed the boy and his father on our way out, BK said to the boy in his little 5-year-old voice, "I'm watching you. Stay away from my sister."

Oh, Lord.

"It's OK BK, let's go." I pulled BK away, while he continued to stare down the now very confused boy.

At least I know that BK's ready to protect his sister!



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Monday, December 8, 2014

Weekend Update

I have an incredibly busy week coming up and I'm feeling pretty sick right now, but I decided to get up from my death bed long enough to give you a weekend update. That's how much I love you. Just putting that out there.

Friday started out pretty good. We had a raffle at work to raise money to give to our local foster care,  and I won one of the prizes! It was a pet care basket-- look at all the stuff I got:


I put this under the tree for our furbabies:



Big Boy Ash particularly liked the pet bed-- it's just big enough for a large cat (although I think it's supposed to be for a small dog):



After work on Friday night, Bug had a birthday party to go to. It was at our local clubhouse, with special guests Ana and Elsa: 


Quite the fancy shindig:


During the party, I started to get a massive headache. I didn't really think anything of it, I just thought 20 8-year-olds running around was giving me a headache. Bug and I came home, and I went straight to bed while The Agent tried to calm Bug off her sugar high.

On Saturday, I wasn't feeling all that great, but this is the Christmas season, and I don't have time to sit around. We donated toys:


And dog food:


And then I started wrapping presents:


 And finished decorating the house:


It was a pretty productive day.

On Sunday, I woke up to the grim reaper looking into my eyes. OK, maybe it was BK asking for breakfast, but that's how I felt. I stumbled downstairs to make breakfast and then plopped down on the couch. And there I stayed for the next 12 hours. I did nothing. I didn't clean, I didn't shop, I didn't even put on a bra all day. Thank goodness that The Agent was able to hold down the fort during my cootie infested state. I didn't take a single picture.

I have a wicked busy week at work this week, including a business trip to the metropolis of Lancaster (never heard of it? It's ok, you're not missing anything). I also have an interview for a promotion, and  two Christmas parties this week. So busy! So hopefully I can shake this bug or virus or cold or whatever so I can properly function!

  
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Friday, December 5, 2014

The Holiday RAOK List


After much deliberation, we made our Holiday  Random Acts of Kindness list! We had such fun making it. I wanted it to be simple stuff that we could do, but still meaningful, and not too expensive. Here's what we came up with:








































Our goal is to do as many as we can between now and Christmas. Hopefully I'll be able to post our results sometime right after the holiday. Wish us luck!


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Wednesday, December 3, 2014

The truth comes out

OK, so I did it. I told Bug about Santa.

BK was taking a nap, and The Agent was engrossed in the Raider game, so I used the opportunity to have a heart to heart with Bug. "Hey, Bug... you know how you've been asking about Santa?"

She perked up. "Yeah?" She's been waiting for this conversation.

I took a deep breath. "Well, there WAS a real Santa. He lived years and years and years ago, in a different country called Turkey."

Bug giggled at this. "Turkey? I bet he loved Thanksgiving!"

Ummm, yeah.

"Anyway, this man would give gifts to the children every year, anonymously. That means he didn't tell anyone about it. So, when he died, everyone wanted to keep that magic alive. So yes, I might put the presents under the tree and fill your stockings, and that's because I'm keeping the magic of St. Nicholas alive. And now, you can help, too. We can make a list of little things we can do for other people, people we don't even know, to make their lives a little nicer. It's called a random act of kindness."

Bug seemed completely ok with this. "And I promise not to tell  BK," she said.

"That's a good idea," I answered. "And you probably shouldn't talk about this to your friends at school, either. This is a conversation that everyone needs to have with their mom or dad, so let them have it. And the magic of Christmas is real, it's all real. But now you get to be part of the magic, too"





Bug agreed. "But what nice things should we do?" she asked.

"Oh, that's the fun part! We can make a whole list! We can put flowers on people's windshields in a parking lot, or pay for the person behind us at McDonalds, or tape a nice note on a mirror in the  bathroom at the mall, all kinds of stuff."

Bug was really excited about this. Stay tuned for our Christmas list!









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