Monday, August 3, 2015

The Summer Fun List Recap

Happy First day of school!

What? your kids don't go back to school until the day after Labor Day? Yeah, you're normal. We're funky  over here in Cali. 

We didn't get as much stuff done as I would have liked this summer, but we got a lot done! Who knew it would be so hard to grab some chalk and draw on the driveway? We just never got to it! But here's a few things we were able to do: 

1. have a picnic at the park
2. play mini golf
3. go camping

4. homemade pizza party
5. Make a new art project
6. have a cousin sleepover
7. go swimming
8. go to a summer matinee
9. sleep under the stars
10. write your own story
11. scavenger hunt walk
12. Make S'mores
13. run in the sprinklers
14. catch butterflies with nets
15. make root beer floats
16. Fly  a kite
17. donate canned goods to the homeless shelter
18. have a water balloon fight

19. create sidewalk art using chalk
20. do a fun science project
21. make homemade bubbles
22. hunt for shapes in the clouds
23. go to a water splash pad
24. make smoothies
25. go fishing
26. build an indoor fort using blankets
27. go bowling
28. have an ice cream party with lots of toppings
29. go to a baseball game
30. go on a road trip
31. go to the library
32. go to the beach
33. build a sand castle
34. play hopscotch
35. make homemade instruments
36. bake and decorate cookies
37. make homemade popsicles
38. play catch
39. learn how to play a new board game
40. do a jigsaw puzzle
41. mail a letter to someone special

42. have a pillow fight
43. have a treasure hunt
44. play Frisbee
45. ride bikes
46. play dress up
47. Invite friends over

48. make friendship bracelets
49. Set off fireworks
50. Make Father's Day presents
51. Watermelon seed spitting contest! 
52. Have a dance party
53. go blueberry picking
54. plant flowers
55. paint rocks
56. go to the fair
57. go to the farmer's market

58. make daisy chains

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Thursday, July 30, 2015


I'm sad.

I'm not suicidal. I'm not even at a debilitating level of sadness. I can still function in life. I'm just... sad.

I'm sad because school is starting on Monday, and kids really didn't get to do anything that fun.
I'm sad because I have no close girlfriends.
I'm sad because even when one of my girlfriends did call me and wanted to hang out, I lied and said I had other plans.
I'm sad because I have absolutely no hope of getting the promotion I want.
I'm sad because I chose to lay on the couch all evening instead of interacting with the babies.
I'm sad because I can't share this with anyone I know in real life.
I'm sad because I need to lose 50 pounds.
I'm sad because the house is a mess.
I'm sad because everyone I know thinks I'm always happy, always the jokester.

I understand that these problems are really no different from what every other person has to face. And if these are the worse of my problems, my life is pretty good.

But that doesn't change how I feel.

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Monday, July 27, 2015

The Bachelorette Finale

I've been on a little mini vacay, but I got home just in time! Let's get to it!

 Kaitlyn and her two guys are back in LA, ready to meet the whole fam-dam-ily.

Her mom and sister after she told them that Nick was one of the two finalists

Nick gets to meet the family first. Kaitlyn breaks the news to her family that they did the nasty, and then tells Nick that she told him, so he's super nervous. He attempts to squeeze in on a couch that even my 9-year-old wouldn't have fit on. Seriously, I think he only has half a butt cheek on there.

Kaitlyn's mother is brutally honest, and says that Nick was an arrogant, possessive d-bag. Nick owns up to all these accusations, and even breaks down into tears, The family is won over.

I am suddenly annoyed by Kaitlyn's too loud laugh.

Shawn meets the family next, and it's actually pretty dull.The family loves Shawn. Kaitlyn's sister announces that she is on "Team Shawn." You and me both, sister.

Nick and Shawn are each allowed one final date with Kaitlyn. Nick is first. They spend the day out on the water and then have dinner. He then lures Kaitlyn up to to his room under the pretense that he got her "a gift." It's a picture  of the two of them on their first date, along with his thoughts about the evening.

Girls, he spelled "energy" wrong. I'm not sure that I could consider marrying someone who can't spell a third grade spelling word.

Why yes, I am shallow.

Shawn is next. They have a beautifully romantic lunch in the middle of a vineyard. Their conversation is super awkward. Why wasn't it awkward with Nick?

In the evening, one thing stands out to me: She tells Shawn not to watch  the show back. She wanted to

Shawn gave Kaitlyn a "memory jar," filled with little mementos of all of their dates together. This is so sweet and romantic.... do the guys come up with it themselves? Does a producer tell them what to do? The Agent considers himself a romantic, and he has never done anything even remotely like this.

Neil Lane helps BOTH guys pick out rings. This gives Nick hope, because last season, it was Andi at the door instead of Neil Lane, and Andi was breaking up with him.

Kaitlyn is stringing someone along at this point.

Because it appears this is a budget year, they guys are sent back to the mansion, where it all began.

Nick steps out first.

Nick spouts off about love and rainbows and unicorns, AND SHE NEVER STOPS HIM.

Episode 1110 - Season Finale - In this week's dramatic conclusion, Kaitlyn gave her final rose to finalist Shawn Booth, on the Season Finale of 'The Bachelorette,' airing MONDAY, JULY 27 (8:00-10:01 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network.

Finally, just as he is about to get down on his knee, Kaitlyn finally puts him out of his misery. She has no explanation for anything that happened, other than she's in love with someone else.

Nick is honest in his response, and hurt.... as he should be. He is heartbroken... again. He says he is the world's biggest joke.

Poor Nick. I have never liked him more than I do right now.

Ok, now on to the guy she really loves.

She gives it away from the very beginning by kissing him.

He loves her. She loves him. He asked her. She said yes.

The Bachelorette Finale Recap: Kaitlyn Makes Her Choice: I Have No Regrets| The Bachelorette, TV News, Kaitlyn Bristowe, Nick Viall, Shawn Booth

The After the Final Rose show was uneventful. Kaitlyn and Shawn still love each other. Shawn and Nick still dislike each other. Kaitlyn is still able to wear gravity defying dresses:

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Monday, July 20, 2015

4 Reasons Why I'm Sad and Grumpy

This started out as my weekend update, but then things went askew...

I don't know if you've noticed this, but I've had a case of the blahs lately. Not blogging much, and not saying a whole lot even when I do blog. I am grumpy and lazy and sad. So here follows the pity party.

On Friday, I applied for a new job. It's still with the same company, but it's a completely different position than what I do now. The salary would be the same as what I make now, but the ceiling is a lot higher, and it's a stepping stones for other management positions in the future. I felt pretty good about my chances, until I applied. Then my boss told me that another girl applied, someone who kind of already has experience in the position. I have a few things in my favor (I'm a college graduate and she's not, and for some reason, she started crying in the middle of the last interview she had???), but I don't think those differences really put me over the edge. If I was the hiring manager, I would probably hire experience over education. No interviews yet, but I'm no longer confident that I will get the job (not to mention that the last person who had this job utterly failed at it, so what makes me think I can do any better?)

Dang... I thought I had it

On Saturday, one of my close girlfriends, who happens to be The Agent's cousin, turned 40. I had asked her several weeks ago if she wanted to plan a GNO. She said she would have to think about it, and she'd let me know. Then her husband called me last week, and said they wanted to do a couples getaway in Tahoe. Ummm..... you want me to try to find someone to watch my kids for the whole weekend with only 5 days notice? Not going to happen! I could go, but The Agent would have to stay home. Then her husband suggested we go to Sacramento for the night, go out to dinner and then to a comedy club. That was more doable, but the two babysitters we use were both busy on Saturday. So, again I said that I could go, but The Agent would have to stay home. And you know what? HER HUSBAND SAID HE WANTED IT TO BE COUPLES ONLY. I was so hurt and mad. So, because my husband can't go (or didn't want to go), it makes me less of a friend? What if I was single? I wouldn't have been invited? The Agent said not to waste my time worrying about it, but it made me think that she clearly doesn't consider me a good friend.  And that made me think of my relationships with my other friends.... I don't really have any close friends. It's clearly because I'm a mean, horrible, bitchy person.

But no worries, I have my husband and kids. Except my husband was pouting on Saturday because I wasn't feeling like the sex kitten he wanted me to be. Why is he even with me? I'm not nice, I complain to him all the time, and I don't put out as much as he wants me to. Oh, is it because I'm SUCH a good mom? Not likely. My son is a habitual liar and my daughter is turning in to the neurotic basket case than I am. Good times for all.

So, all in all, not the most wonderful weekend. I feel like I'm sucking with my job, my friends, my husband, and my kids.

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Friday, July 17, 2015

52 in 52

I have not been blogging like I used to lately. Nothing really happening worth blogging about, I guess! But here's how I'm doing on my 52 goals for the year...

1. Lose 21 pounds. Goal is 199. 0/21 Nope, still not losing. Steadily gaining. 
2. Wear a bikini in public. Certainly not on the right track here.
3. Spin at least 3 days a week. I've been very bad.
4. Drink at least 80 ounces of water a day. 
5. Donate all the size 16 pants in my closet. No. I need them still.
6. Have a garage sale. Not happening this month. I think my parents were talking about doing one in October
7. Donate 40 bags of stuff for Lent. 9/40 I need to clean out the closets
8. Spend 1 day a month organizing the house. 5/12
9. Have at least 10 dates with The Agent. 2/10.  I'm falling a bit behind on this.
10. Read 25 books. 11/25 this month I read The Awakening by SL Morgan and Flirting with Felicity by Gerri Russell
11. Hire a cleaning service
12. Go to the library.
13. Fly a kite.  
14. Teach Bug to ride a bike.
15. Teach BK to ride a bike.
16. Make the children pick out  a present for each other at birthdays and Christmas. Birthdays are done!
17. Get a raise. Nailed it!
18.  Go camping. Done!
19. Host a play date for each child. Done for Bug.... now we just need to work on BK.
20. Write 5 fictional pieces. 1/5
21. Cut and color hair 3 times this year. 1/3
22. Get a pedicure 4 times this year. 2/4
23. Go away overnight with The Agent, and without the kids.
24. Get a massage for Mother's Day. nope
25. Host an adult party.
26. Throw a birthday party for Bug. It technically wasn't a party, it was a birthday weekend with playdates on Friday and Saturday, and then a family party on Sunday. I feel this counts. 
27. Throw a birthday party for BK. This isn't going to happen. BK has been too naughty. 
28. Perform 12 random acts of kindness. 2/12 Jan: We put quarters in all the machines at the movie theater arcade. May: I bought donuts for everyone in the office.
29. Teach the Dumb Dog to use a leash. I guess I need to add the dumb puppy to this as well
30. Teach BK to swim. in progress
31. Take the children to the snow.
32. Make a snowman.
33. Go to Disneyland! Guess we'll have to change this to legoland! Booked for October!
34.  Go camping. Camping trip #2 is tentatively scheduled for later this month. 
35. Remodel our living room fireplace. The Agent committed to having this done by Jan 31st. That didn't happen.
36.  Make an apron for Bug.
37. Turn our backyard into a place I want to be. I have a vision, The Agent needs to execute it.
38. Work on having the house "popover guest" ready at all times. (looks around house) It's not out of control. If you gave me 15 minutes, it would look fine.
39. Take the children to The City.
40. Sign BK up for baseball.
41. Sign Bug up for piano.  Done! 
42. Take Bug on a date.
43. Take BK on a date. Done
44. Seriously organize the master bedroom.
45. Turn the second master closet into.... something better.
46.  Turn our bedroom into a sexy oasis.
47.  Improve on our chore system for the children.
48.  Open a bank account for Bug.
49.  Give the children an allowance every week.
50. Increase credit score by 50 points.
51. Become debt free. (we don't have any credit card debt-- this just means paying off the house).
52. Write a new list of 52 things

And here's my check in for my Summer reading challenge!

  • 5 points freebie!  (Flirting With Felicity by Gerri Russell) Done!
  • 10 points a book you have never heard of before. (Everything Burns by Vincent Zandri) Done!
  • 10 points a book that has been on your TBR list for at least two years. (City of Bones by Cassandra Clare)
  • 10 points a book that won a Goodreads “best book” award in 2014. (Lost Lake by Sarah Addison Allen)
  • 15 points a book by an author who is completely new to you. (The Husband’s Secret by Liane Moriarty)
  • 15 points a book by an author you have read before. (Ancient Guardians: The Awakening by SL Morgan) Done!
  • 15 points a book with “light” or  “dark” in the title (Darkness of Light by Stacey Marie Brown) Done!
  • 20 points a  book with a city, state, or country in the title (Uganda Be Kidding Me by Chelsea Handler)
  • 20 points a book with an animal on the cover (Let’s Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson)
  • 25 points a book that is part of a series with at least 4 books (Son by Lois Lowry) Done!
  • 25 points a book that is longer than 500 pages long (Shadow of Night by Deborah Harkness)
  • 30 points a book with an alliterative title (Mr. Mercedes by Stephen King) Done!
Total points  so far: 100/200

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Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Why I Drink

A conversation I overheard between Bug and BK....

Bug: Here, have a bite of my mango.

BK: Ugh! It tastes like poop!

Bug: How do you even know what poop tastes like?

BK: Remember when you tricked me and said it was chocolate?

Bug: Oh, yeah. That was gross.

Maybe they knew I was listening. Or maybe they're the two nastiest kids ever.

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Monday, July 13, 2015

The Bachelorette-- It's Down to Two

Who agrees that this has been the BEST season of The Bachelorette yet? Kaitlyn is more than a little dirty, she makes no apologies about it, and I love it!

When we last left Kaitlyn and her men, Shawn and Nick were fighting over who could pee farther, and it made her think less of BOTH men.

Enter Ben.

In a perfect world, Ben would swoop up, blow both the other guys out of the water, and ride off with Kaitlyn into the sunset. Not that I think that's going to happen.

At first, it seems clear that Ben and Kaitlyn have the comic relief date. They ride horses and then get chased by two donkeys. But then they have a beautiful picnic in front of a beautiful  castle, and Ben is the most beautiful thing of all. Seriously, I love him!

Ben for Bachelor!

Ben reveals that he had a birthday on the show, and he just turned 26. Good Lord. I was married before he even got his drivers license.

Ben is invited to stay the night and they do.... whatever. He is so adorable.

Shawn has the final overnight date.They play golf together, and Shawn lost. His punishment is that he has to putt naked. While he's putting, Kaitlyn steals his clothes and run off. Shawn has to run after her.... naked.

At least ABC knows  who we want to see without clothes.... I sure as heck don't want to see Nick!

yes, please

The overnight portion really didn't go well, proven by the fact  that the didn't air any of it.

When Shawn came back from Kaitlyn's room, Nick was waiting outside, hoping to continue their conversation from the other day. Shawn is clearly already in a bad mood when he sees Nick. They exchange some nasty words, and told each other what they really thought of each other.

If there are three guys, and two of them are constantly talking smack about each other, wouldn't it make sense to keep the guy that everyone loves?

Rose Ceremony: 


Nope, I  guess not.

Don't feel too bad for Ben. I have a feeling he's going to be ok. #benforbachelor

Sidenote: how is Kaitlyn not having constant wardrobe malfunctions? How is she holding her boobs in?

I took this pic with my phone.... hence, the poor quality

Now they FINALLY leave Ireland and go back to the US, to the tropical beaches of... Utah. I can only assume that this was to save on costs, because it seems like there are at least 20 members of Nick's family in that hotel room, waiting to meet Kaitlyn. Remember, his whole family has already been through this whole thing with Andi last year, so they know what to expect. They also know how it ends when  he's not the one.

It should be noted that BFF was texting me this entire time that Kaitlyn better pick Nick in the end, and I kept arguing that  there's no way on God's green earth that she'll pick Nick. Now that Ben is gone, I'm #TeamShawn all the way.

The meeting with Shawn's family is next. Kaitlyn meets a very strange family dynamic. Dad, two sisters, and an aunt???? Where's Mom? Why couldn't she make it? Does she hate Kaitlyn? Is she ill? What's going on there?

The meeting of the families was uneventful, except for two notable exceptions:

1. Shawn told Kaitlyn he loves her.
2. Kaitlyn uses the same make out pose when she's kissing both Nick and Shawn.

We'll find out who she picks in two weeks! Next week is the men tell all!

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