Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Broken hearted

"Mom, what does broken hearted mean?"

"Well, it usually means that you're pretty sad. Usually it means you can't be with someone you really love anymore, so you're sad. And when you're really sad, you can't eat or sleep, and your chest hurts, and you feel like you'll never love again, so people say their heart is broken."

"Oh.... but why is Grandpa's heart broken?"

Oh. It seems that Bug has been eavesdropping on my late night conversations with The Agent.

My father was recently diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy, which means that his ventricle is enlarged and it's affecting his ability to pump blood. We don't know how bad it is yet, but he's going to find out next week. It could be just a matter of taking a pill once a day, or he could nee a pacemaker. We'll see.

He says he feels fine. He only went to the doctor in the first place because he was getting out of breath whenever he exerted himself. "Like when we were at the jumpy house place for BK's birthday," he gave the example.

Ummm.... I get out of breath doing that, too. That's why I wore a dress to that party-- so I would have an excuse not to jump.

So, I'm a little stressed out by this, and I will be needing prayers while I wait for his test results, but my dad is optimistic. "This is nothing new," he joked. "I've always been told I have a big heart."

Oh, Dad...

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Monday, July 21, 2014

Bachelorette Men Tell All

The Men Tell All is tonight!

JP and Ashley come out first and reveal what most of the world already knew: Ashley is pregnant, due in early October. She is looking absolutely boobilicious. They reveal the sex of the baby on live tv-- it's a boy!

OK, so who thinks that JP and Ashley already knew the sex? They had to have known already, right? Because what if there was some kind of problem? You're not going to find out on live television!

So, thy come out and they're cute and all, but now it's time for the MTA!

I love that they're all wearing scarves. Hilarious!

Drama was brought out right away-- what exactly did Andrew say? Did he say that Andi pick the two blackies? Or did he just say "It's a  long night, can't wait until it's over?" It kinda backfired on JJ, with Farmer Chris (aka The Next Bachelor) saying that JJ should have manned up and said something right away, instead of skirting around the issue, the same with Andrew getting the girl's number.

Marquel is in the hot seat first-- and I'm really not sure why. Chris Harrison said that he was adored by fans everywhere... Really? I mean, he was a heck of a guy, really sweet, but he's no Farmer Chris!

The interview was very uneventful.... But he did pass out black and white cookies to everyone in the audience. That was pretty cute... Even if a producer baked them.

Marcus is in the hot seat next, as the first guy to say he loved her (way earlier than any other guy). I think he had too many feelings too soon and it scared Andi off. But that's ok. I suspect that Marcus is doing ok now.


Good Lord, he is looking hot. I take back everything I bad I said about him this season. That man looks good, and needs love!

Finally, my boyfriend Farmer Chris takes the hot seat. He loves Andi, she didn't love him. There are 8 million other girls ready to take her place. Random girl comes up and gets to sit with Chris and says she wants to date him. Is this a set up? It looks super lame. She gave him her number? What a slut!

Finally, Andi takes the stage. If you only saw the previews, take note: Andi is NOT pregnant!

But Chris does have the lie detector results. Chris, Brian, and JJ told no lies. Of course.

The guys who did tell lies didn't tell anything that revealing. Marcus has slept with more than 20 women. Dylan told a bunch of lies, but they were all lame.

Josh told two lies... and we don't what they are. She decides she doesn't want to know what the lies are. Whatever, Andi. You're lame.

The End

Except.... what was the drama at the end? She's wearing a different dress, and Chris Harrison gives her a letter written by one of the two final guys. When was this filmed? What does it mean? Why didn't she read it right away? Is it all a hoax?

To be continued....

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Friday, July 18, 2014

Wedding Etiquette Dilemma

I have a wedding etiquette dilemma. 

Months ago, I got a save the date for my coworker's wedding reception, via facebook. We're friends, and her daughter is my regular babysitter, but we don't really hang out outside of work. I replied yes to the save the date  and got a babysitter (a new girl) and I’ve had several conversations with her about her wedding planning since then. The reception is this Friday.  

But I never got an invitation. I assumed that she just wasn’t sending them out, but I found out yesterday that she did send out invitations (she just handed them out yesterday).
So, do you think she didn’t send me an invitation because she knew I was going? Or maybe she thinks she already sent me one? Or should I not go? Maybe she changed her mind? Maybe her guest list got too large and she had to make cuts?
I don’t know what to do…. The save the dates were sent through Facebook and the invites were sent less than a week before the actual event, so it's not like this is going to be a fancy occasion. If I don’t go and she’s expecting me, that would be rude. But if I show up and she didn’t actually invite me, that would be MORTIFYING! 
The Agent says we should not crash a wedding reception if we didn't get an actual invitation, and he is all too happy to miss the reception, and use the babysitter to have a date night with just the two of us. And my coworker is  moving out of state next week, so it’s not like I’ll ever see her again…. What do you think? Is there a way to get clarification about this without completely embarrassing myself? 

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Wednesday, July 16, 2014

I sold my soul to the devil


I went in to my boss's office on Friday, determined to change my career path. I'm not getting promoted, it's career suicide to go down a step, and I don't like the job I'm in now, so where does that leave me? Who cares if it's career suicide? I'm not getting promoted anyway, so what really changes? I'm not as stressed? My salary caps out a little sooner? I can live with that.

So, I went in and told my boss that. He said he could understand my position, and if I have made the decision to put my family first, he can respect that. Yes. Get me out of this stupid position.

So, I went back to my desk, feeling a little nervous about my future, but mostly ok. Less than ten minutes later, my boss was back at my desk, asking me to come in to his office.

Crap. What now?

It seems that he worked the numbers, and I wasn't getting paid enough for the work I was doing, so I got a raise. 3.8% salary increase.

That's huge.

I went out to lunch immediately after that and cried.

It's not worth it to take a manager position and commute for an hour anymore, even if one did become available. I could still decide to step down, and I wouldn't lose any money, but I better hope that this is enough to get me through the next 15 years, because I don't see a whole lot of raises in my future.

I'm not dumb. I suspect that my boss used those ten minutes on the phone with HR, saying "Dude. We're going to lose The Lovely One. What can I do to sweeten the deal?"  And HR ran the numbers, and recommended that they throw money at me, and see if I bite.

F. Stupid high paying job.

The Agent is beyond excited about this new development. He only sees the perks: evening and weekends off, a ten minute commute, catered lunches at least once a month, limited overnight travel... ugh.

14 years and 4 months until retirement.

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Monday, July 14, 2014

The Bachelorette-- Blame it on Iowa

Fantasy dates are tonight! Also known as "How many guys will Andi bone down with this week?"

First, there's a recap of the three guys. She likes them all. moving on.

Nick has the first one on one date. They make out in the ocean for a long time. he almost looked hot, but only from behind. I do not want to look at his face.

Nick's only goal for the day was to tell Andi he loved her, and he blew it. They went snorkeling instead. Ugh. He's so gross.

But at night, Nick brought his A game. He wrote her a story of their relationship, complete with illustrations. He might have won me over... if not for his freakishly large forehead. And I LOVE how he said yes to the fantasy suite! He said he wanted to talk her ear off all night. Ahhh.... I remember those nights with The Agent.... back before we had kids. Now I just roll over and go to sleep.

Nick says he loves her before they go to the fantasy suite. She can't say it back (or can she???), but she definitely seems happy to hear that.

The lights go out.

The next date is with Josh, who I think is the absolute front runner here. They walk around town and then they play baseball with a group of kids. Really, Andi? You go all the way there to play baseball? No, I'm sorry. You go all the way there to make out on the beach.

Josh tells Andi he loves her at dinner, and Andi eats it up. She is definitely hot for him. The fireworks were a little premature.... those are supposed to go off after the lights go out!

Chris has the final one on one date, with Andi still soggy from last night's date with Josh (That came from The Agent, not me). This date was doomed from the start. Forget that Chris has to ride on Josh's coattails, but they're out riding horses, something that she's not even interested in. And of course her horse goes a little nutty. Where's Chris's hot and romantic date on the beach? He totally got the short end of the stick.

Andi is talking fast, like she did when she let Cody go. Oh, Andi. Chris is such a good man. So much better than Nick. Don't let him go.

No, Andi.



How could you let this face go?

We knew from the beginning that Andi wasn't going to go to Iowa, so she had to let him go. But I have a feeling we'll be seeing Chris in 6 months when The Bachelor starts again in January.

Chris is sent home, with no boom boom. She broke his heart. "I want your feelings to be for me. They're not, so I want to go home." Oh, Chris. You're so awesome.

It's such a joke that there's even still a rose ceremony, but there is. Both guys are offered roses. Both say yes.


The Men tell all is next week, so we'll have to wait two weeks before we get to see Andi pick Josh. Or Nick (yeah, right. Is ANYONE rooting for him? Does ANYONE think she'll pick him?)

BONUS-- I had already hit publish when I heard this gem: Nick used to wet the bed! Neener neener!

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Monday Morning Moo

Starting weight: 226.0
last week: 201.5
this week: 202.5
total pounds lost in 2014: 23.5
By this time in 2010 I weighed: 199.6

This week was an eating frenzy, and I only went to the gym once! I swear, this summer is getting away from me. I need to work on getting back on track. But work is stressful, home is hectic, and I'm busy trying to squeeze fun into every spare second before school starts again... in only three weeks! Yikes! 

But I think I'm back on track now. There are no parties scheduled, no extra meetings, and our schedule is back to normal (I think!). I'm still on the road to skinny town! 

Oh wait.... we do have a wedding reception to go to on Friday night, and a bbq on Saturday... Ugh! It never ends! I will be glad when the summer season is over and we're not busy every weekend! 

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Friday, July 11, 2014

Suck it Up

At every large meeting, the one where my boss's boss's boss shows up, we are told that it's a great time to be a Gen X-er. Almost half of our company are baby boomers, and they're all starting to retire. It's time for Gen X to swoop up.

My three interviews in the last year have shown me that it is NOT a great time to be Gen X. The company wants someone young in upper management, who can stay in the position for the next 35 years, not a 40-year-old frontline employee who is already counting the days until retirement (FYI, my goal is to retire at age 55, so I have less than 15 years to go).

If you ask me, I think it's a great time to be a Millennial. You're young, you're fresh out of college, and you're hungry. You're not looking to sneak out early so you can have time to pick up groceries before making dinner, and you don't come in 5 minutes late because you wanted to take 57 pictures of your kid learning to hula hoop:

Photo: Number 45: learn to hula hoop #53daysofsummervacation

I am already seeing it. Just today, it was announced that a young guy, right out of college, with less time than me and with lower performing numbers than me, was promoted to "team lead." Not sure what that means, and he's certainly not MY team's lead, but sometimes half the fun is having an awesome title.

Anyway, my point is that it doesn't look like I'm going to get promoted any time soon. I'm not going to get promoted, I'm not going to quit my job, and I don't want to get fired. So what other option is there?

Suck it up and learn to like what you do.

No, that's not even it.

Suck it up and learn to like tolerate what you do.

No, that's not it, either.

Suck it up and learn to like what you do.

Yeah, that's it. Suck it up. I'm not going anywhere, I have to work, so I have to suck it up.

This job does not define me. My tombstone will not say, here lies Lovely, the best insurance chick ever. I want it to read:

"Here lies Lovely, smokin' hot wife and most awesome mother ever. Died while surrounded by her beloved husband, children, and grandchildren. Survived by her husband, who passed away 15 seconds later from a broken heart."

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