Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Missing Those Summer Days

I am so ready for summer to get here. I am reliving the days of summer last year. We had a short summer break, only 53 days, but we tried to make the most of it! We enjoyed lazy days in the park: 

And color fun runs: 

And school graduations: 

And root beer floats: 

And camping with the cousins: 

It's not even Spring break yet, but how many more days until Summer  vacation? 

Mama’s Losin’ It

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52 in 52

I kinda slacked off in February-- both on my goals and in bogging. Binge watching Sons of Anarchy took up way too much time! Thankfully, that's over, and I think I'm going to wait a bit before I start a new series (it will be Parenthood though).  Here's how I'm doing on my list of 2015 goals:

1. Lose 21 pounds. Goal is 199. 0/21  Ugh. It was a bad month. I gained three pounds.   
2. Wear a bikini in public. It's too cold for this, thank goodness.
3. Spin at least 3 days a week. I was super bad this month
4. Drink at least 80 ounces of water a day. Score for January!  
5. Donate all the size 16 pants in my closet. No. I need them still.
6. Have a garage sale. See me in April or May
7. Donate 40 bags of stuff for Lent.  5/40 still going strong!
8. Spend 1 day a month organizing the house. 2/12 I'm thinking I need to devote more than 1 month to organization.
9. Have at least 10 dates with The Agent. 0/10.  We have two planned in March!
10. Read 25 books. 1/25 Jan: Captivated By You. I didn't read a single book in February.
11. Hire a cleaning service
12. Go to the library.
13. Fly a kite.  
14. Teach Bug to ride a bike.
15. Teach BK to ride a bike.
16. Make the children pick out  a present for each other at birthdays and Christmas. BK did this for Bug in February!
17. Get a raise.
18.  Go camping.
19. Host a play date for each child. Done for Bug.... now we just need to work on BK.
20. Write 5 fictional pieces. 1/5
21. Cut and color hair 3 times this year. 0/3 Scheduling an appointment in March.
22. Get a pedicure 4 times this year. 0/4
23. Go away overnight with The Agent, and without the kids.
24. Get a massage for Mother's Day.
25. Host an adult party.
26. Throw a birthday party for Bug. It technically wasn't a party, it was a birthday weekend with playdates on Friday and Saturday, and then a family party on Sunday. I feel this counts. 
27. Throw a birthday party for BK.
28. Perform 12 random acts of kindness. 1/12 Jan: We put quarters in all the machines at the movie theater arcade
29. Teach the Dumb Dog to use a leash.
30. Teach BK to swim.
31. Take the children to the snow.
32. Make a snowman.
33. Go to Disneyland!
34.  Go camping. I see this is on here twice. I guess this means I have to go camping twice!
35. Remodel our living room fireplace. The Agent committed to having this done by Jan 31st. That didn't happen.
36.  Make an apron for Bug.
37. Turn our backyard into a place I want to be.
38. Work on having the house "popover guest" ready at all times. (looks around house) It looks good today!
39. Take the children to The City.
40. Sign BK up for baseball.
41. Sign Bug up for piano.  She starts this week! 
42. Take Bug on a date.
43. Take BK on a date. Bug went to a birthday party, so I took Bk out to lunch and then I took him shopping at the store of his choice. He chose Dick's Sporting Goods. My boy is a sporty guy. 
44. Seriously organize the master bedroom. It looks a lot better this month!
45. Turn the second master closet into.... something better.
46.  Turn our bedroom into a sexy oasis.
47.  Improve on our chore system for the children.
48.  Open a bank account for Bug.
49.  Give the children an allowance every week.
50. Increase credit score by 50 points.
51. Become debt free. (we don't have any credit card debt-- this just means paying off the house).
52. Write a new list of 52 things

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Monday, March 2, 2015

The Bachelor-- The Women Tell All

The Women Tell All starts right now!

I forgot how crazy these women were until they were all together in the same room. These women are straight Cray-zee,

Pretty much all the Bachelorettes are there.... if one is missing, I didn't miss her.

Kudos to the editing team on The Bachelor-- they really brought out the worse in all the girls.

The cat fights started right away with Britt and Carly. Britt wondered why Carly pretended to be her friend when they clearly weren't. Carly said it wasn't about being friends, it was about who would make the best choice for Chris. Britt also insisted that she wanted kids, she wanted to move to Arlington, and she would be engaged to Chris right now if it wasn't for that evil Carly.

There was a whole lot more than that, but I really couldn't tell between the crying and yelling and the interrupting.

Kelsey is up next. Yes, they make her look evil.... but her haters look pretty evil, too.

Probably the funniest moment of the night was when Harrison offered Kelsey his handkerchief, and she said, "Are you sure? This is silk. I'm going to keep this." Love it!

Kelsey wipes away a tear as she and host Chris Harrison
link  "I'm going to sell your handkerchief on ebay later."

Well, we know who Harrison liked on the show. He let Britt and the girls argue and talk all over each other, but when Kelsey comes on, he makes all the girls shut up so Kelsey could talk. #HarrisonLovesKelsey

Ashley S. comes on next, and gives Harrison an onion, which he says is the best gift he's ever received from one of the girls (and then he says it's the ONLY gift he's ever received). She is as crazy as ever, and Harrison invites her on Bachelor in Paradise. I don't watch Bachelor in Paradise, but I may start if that's the caliber of contestant they have on there.

Jade is in the hot seat next, and then Kaitlyn. They're stories are not very exciting. They were in love with Chris, he let them go, they want closure. Moving on.

Finally, Chris comes on stage. Britt is allowed to come sit next to him (insert Carly's eye roll). She said he wasn't mad at him for believing Carly, and Chris said he didn't send her home because of Carly, he just didn't think it was going to work out.  He shut her down pretty quick and sent her back to her seat. 

Kaitlyn had a chance to speak to Chris next. She wants answers, he can't give her any. Although, c'mon Kaitlyn. Get over it. He's just not that in to you. 

Jade has the one of the final moments. He had told her when he let her go that it wasn't because of the photos, but then she read the People blog, it really her. 

Chris babbles his way out of it, but in the end, Jade was hurt and Chris couldn't make it better.

Who is going to win Chris's heart? Whitney or Becca? Say goodbye to the romantic tropical engagements-- we're having a  country engagement with a little twang!

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A Baby Story

(This is a repost. Enjoy it!)

Large and in charge

March 1, 2006.… I was large and in charge, my friends. I was 5 days past my due date and was ready for this child to come out NOW. Of course, Bug had other plans and had set up permanent shop. I wasn’t even having contractions, wasn't even dialated. Rats.

I went to my scheduled OBGYN appointment on Wednesday, March 1. I knew they were going to decide at that appointment whether to let me keep cooking or to schedule a day and time to be induced. Frankly, I was hoping to be induced. I liked the control that it gave me. I had fears of my water breaking while standing in line at the bank. Not a pretty sight.

My appointment was at 11 am. The Agent came with me. We were going to go to this appointment, and then get something to eat, since I was always hungry. I could almost taste the French dip sandwich already.

At the appointment, they hooked me up to a machine so they could check my levels of amniotic fluids, and I was supposed to sit there and tell them how many times the baby kicked during the test.

There wasn’t any amniotic fluid in there. None at all.

And Bug wasn’t kicking.

“When the last time you felt your baby move?” the nurse asked.

I had to really think. She was so big, she didn’t move much by then, and when she did, it was at night. Plus, she had been kicking for so many months, that I barely noticed it anymore. I wasn’t positive that I had felt her at all that day.

I told the nurse as much, and she ran to get the doctor. My doctor was with a patient, so another doctor came instead. He looked at the pictures of the non-existent amniotic fluid  and said, “We need to get the baby out today. I’m calling an ambulance to take you to the hospital.”

I started to panic a little. Taking an ambulance was not part of what I imagined. No one I knew needed to take an ambulance when they had their baby. “Can’t my husband take me?” I whimpered.

“You need to go right now,” the doctor said flatly. “you need to take an ambulance.”

That was enough to start me crying. Something was seriously wrong. I was freaking out.

“You need to calm down!” the doctor ordered. “You’re going to lose the baby if you don’t calm down.”

Yeah, right. Tell someone they’re going to lose their baby if they don’t calm down, and see how calm they get. Ass.

But I did my best to relax as the paramedics came and strapped me to the gurney. Then I had the frightening ride in the ambulance, alone, because The Agent had to follow with the car.

(Poor Agent. I don’t know what he was thinking, but his mind must have been racing. Or at least the car was racing. He beat me to the hospital, and was pacing the room when I was wheeled in.)

Thank goodness, the hospital staff was more encouraging. They said the baby was fine, but they agreed that she needed to come out today. I was given Picotin. By 3 pm, I was starting to feel my first contractions.

I started inquiring about an epidural. The pain wasn’t overwhelming, but I didn’t want to wait until I was beyond my threshold before I got some relief. "You still have a ways to go,” the nurse said. “Your contractions aren’t even registering yet.”

Ugh. They hurt this bad and they’re not even registering yet? I must be the wimpiest person ever.

I suffered through increasing pain for almost three hours. Each time a nurse came in, I’d ask for something. “It’s still early,” the nurses would say, “Induced labor could take 24 hours or more.”

God bless The Agent. “Can someone at least check her?” he pleaded. Thank God he said that. They sent in a doctor to check me, and it turned out the band that they put over my belly to measure my contractions was out of whack, and not registering. They put a new band on me and suddenly the readout looked like there had been a 6.9 earthquake in my belly.

Friggin’ incompetents.

I got my epidural at 6 pm. Heaven. Life was good again.

I was starting to get uncomfortable again around 8 pm, but the pain wasn’t bad right away, and I had American Idol playing on the tv, so that helped to keep me preoccupied. The Agent was getting antsy and nervous. He kept asking for the doctor. One of the nurses came in while I was watching tv. “All the nurses simply love him,” she said.

“Who? The doctor? Is he coming?” The Agent seemed more nervous than I was at this point.

The nurse laughed. “No, Chris Daughtry, on American Idol. We all think he’s just so cute.”

I thought this was hilarious. The Agent did not think it was very funny.

I was able to suffer through the pain until the end of American Idol, and then asked for more pain killing juice.

Nope, too late. It’s time to push.


I took a deep breath and pushed with all my might, while the nurse counted to 10, just like on tv. Then I looked down between my legs. Where’s the baby?

She didn’t even budge.

It turns out I sucked at pushing. I gave it my all for two hours, each time the nurses saying, “One last big push and then your baby will be out.” Here’s what I have to say to nurses everywhere: DON’T LIE! If it’s going to take two hours to push out a baby, then don’t say it will only take one more push!

At 11 pm, the doctor was bored, I was exhausted and in pain, and the baby was showing signs of stress. “We need to get the baby out now,” the doctor said. “I’m going to have the operating room prepped for a cesarean.

Sounds good to me. Let’s get on it.

The doctor spent at least five minutes talking to me, about the risks and dangers involved, how I needed to sign something, The Agent needed to sign something, blah, blah, blah. I remember just laying there with my eyes closed, and I kept answering, “OK. OK.” That’s all I had the strength to say, but inside I was screaming at the doctor. “I HOPE YOU HAVE SOMEONE GETTING THAT ROOM READY FOR ME WHILE YOU'RE BLABBING AWAY! THIS BABY NEEDS TO GET OUT NOW!”

Then, the doctor left, and there were still four nurses around me. They told me to keep pushing while the room was getting ready. Fine. So I pushed some more. And some more. And some more.

And then one of the nurses said to The Agent, “Come here.”

The Agent didn’t want to leave my side. The doctor had told him to press down on my stomach to help the baby out, and he had been pushing hard on my stomach for the last two hours (so hard it left a mark… I didn’t even feel it). The Agent had a squimish stomach, he really didn’t want to see anything a nurse had to show him.

But The Agent went to the nurse, and she pointed between my legs.

The head was coming out.

The Agent was a changed man after that.

“Babe, she’s here! She’s here! Push her out! She’s right there!”

Oh my God, I wanted to smack him so bad. What does it LOOK like I’m doing?

But I didn’t have the strength to argue. I wanted to ask the nurses, “Hey, how’s it coming with that c-section?” but I didn’t have the energy. So, I just took a deep breath and pushed.

Ow. Owwwwwww.

The doctor came strolling in as the head came out, me wanting to scream and cry and swear like on tv, but I was too busy getting this person out of me to do any of that. “Oh, it looks like we won’t need that c-section, after all.”

You think?

The head was the hardest part, and the rest of her came out easy after that. At 11:38 pm, the doctor guided her out, and then said, “Wow, she’s pretty heavy, you’re going to have to hold her for a bit,” and all but dropped her on my stomach. But I didn’t care, I actually only know that from watching the video later. I was just so amazed.

“Look, Agent. I can’t believe I did that.”

The nurses and doctor couldn’t believe it, either. She was a really big baby.

Really Big.

Really REALLY big.

Are you ready for the number?

11 pounds, 3 ounces.

Me and Bug, the day we came home from the hospital

She didn’t break any records, but she was the biggest baby born that day. I'm so glad that I was able to deliver naturally. The pain of childbirth went away as soon as Bug was in my arms, and I don't think I would have been that lucky if I had to have a c-section. We knew she would be big-- I’m 5’10”, The Agent's 6’2”, I gained 76 pounds while I was pregnant, and I wasn’t diabetic-- but I never in my wildest dreams imagined she would be THAT big!

So now, my baby isn’t a baby anymore. She’s nine years old. She’s still a big girl, but she’ll always be my baby.

Now, if I can just do something about that sassy mouth of hers....

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Monday, February 23, 2015

Bachelor in Bali

Here we go, my friends! Fantasy dates are under way!

Kaitlyn has the first fantasy date in Bali. They have a normal day, just walking around the village, having monkeys climb all over Chris.

Check out Katilyn's face-- she looks like she was abducted by aliens

Chris asks Kaitlyn if she would like to spend the night in the fantasy suite, and she of course jumps at that chance. She says she is falling in love with Chris,

and he says he's falling in love with her, too! 

Say what? Is he allowed to say that? Is it over? Is he picking her? Ugh! 

Other than that, the date was pretty uneventful. 

Whitney has the next fantasy date. They  go on a private yacht, which is much more my idea of an awesome date. She says she's head over heels in love with Chris, and he doesn't say it back, which makes me very nervous (he says it later in an interview, so I forgive him. Slightly). 

Whitney is the only girl of the three who has never seen Arlington, and she's the only girl who has a "real"career. Chris is definitely pretty nervous about it, but Whitney says, yeah, she has a career, but she really just wants to move to Arlington and makes a bunch of farmer babies. 

Pre-fantasy suite smootches
Whitney is also invited into the fantasy suite, and she also accepts. "Check, please!"  Whitney wants to get some!

Becca has the final fantasy date. Becca, the virgin. She is super nervous about telling him, especially when some Bali medicine man said they should go make love. 

Becca's face after speaking to the medicine man. Awkward! 

 Becca is honest with Chris. She says that she's never been in love with anyone, but she might be falling in love with him. She's scared about moving to Arlington, but she would be willing to take that change if it was right. 

And he says he's falling in love with her! 

What the heck? He's falling in love with all three of them? Is he playing them all? Is he just trying to get some? Pick a girl and stick with her! 

Becca admits that she's a virgin, and he is as ok as a guy can possibly be when he realizes that he's not going to get to get funky with the gorgeous Becca. She still spends the night with him, but when they wake up in the morning, they have some kind of mystery conversation that we didn't get to see. Chris says he's falling in love with Becca, but they're conversation left him in confusion. Becca is also the only one who voiced serious doubts about living in Arlington. 

Chris says he feels really strongly about one rose, but he doesn't know about the other one. He is clearly confused. 

The rose ceremony is at a sacred temple, where there are dress codes and rules about affection. And then, before it even starts, Chris asked Becca to step away with him. I'm still not entirely sure what their conversation was about, but it's clear that Chris really has genuine feelings for her. 

Meanwhile, the two remaining girls are doing backflips because they think that Chris MUST be sending Becca home. I think they both died a little inside when they saw Chris and Becca walking back together, hand in hand. 

Rose Ceremony: 

I'm sure that Kaitlyn knew the second Chris called Whitney's name that she would be the one to leave. I mean, Chris wasn't to take Becca aside for 30 minutes and then bring her back again just to send her home. Still,  I am surprised. Kaitlyn wants to know what went wrong, and Chris can't even explain it, he just needs to follow his heart. 

Who is he going to pick???? It can't be Becca.... can it? The girl we know nothing about it? Will it be Whitney? The career girl? I just don't know! And will either girl make it to a wedding? I can't wait to find out! 

The Women Tell All is next week! Stay tuned for all that juicy drama! 

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Wednesday, February 18, 2015

A to Z

All I ever imagined
Became almost real tonight
Creating possibilities,
Dreams realized,
Even the chance
For true happiness
Gripping onto that chance
Hoping this won't be the last
Ignoring that voice in my head 
Just a little bit longer
Knowing this can never work
Love this perfect can't be real
Maybe loneliness is best 
Never regret what was never had
Only fools dream so big
Please leave me in peace
Quiet the screams inside my head
Repeating the truth
Savor this moment
This one dream realized
Until the sunrise crashes
Vexedly teasing my desire to hope
Wiping away that chance for love
Xeroxed again and again
Yet still I pray, and still I dream
Zero is the chance I have now

Mama’s Losin’ It

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My Thoughts on 50 Shades

I feel compelled to write about my 50 Shades Experience.

Yes, I read the books. Yes, I watched the movie. No, I am not ashamed.

True, I had a different experience than most, having the advantage of watching the movie during a private screening. I am under no illusions that this is Oscar winning material. And I certainly would not want to watch the movie in the same room as my mother. Still, I was thoroughly entertained.

I was surprised about the negative reviews that I read online this weekend. Not because the writing or acting was bad-- I rather expected that. But I was baffled over the pure outrage that the movie inspired. Women claimed to have walked out of the theater in tears. People proclaiming that this is glorified  domestic violence at its finest. Women all over my Facebook feed were begging everyone to boycott the movie, saying that "the violence is unbearable."


Were we watching the same movie?

This is the movie I saw: There's a guy that has love and commitment issues, due to the unfortunate events of his past. As a result, he feels that the only way he can be intimate with a woman is if he is the dominant. He meets a girl who is a virgin-- both literally, and to the BDSM lifestyle-- and he thinks he can add her to the list of his many conquests. Except, oops! He falls in love with her.

It's not about control. At no point does Christian have control over Ana. Ana is the one with all the control. She says how far to go. She says when she's had enough. And he respects that.

Look, I'm not saying I'm down for a dominant/submissive lifestyle. But I didn't think it was violent at all. Yes, he straps her up. With her permission. And I'm no judge, but she seems to like it quite a bit.

And the one point that it does get too violent (he whips her 6 times-- not hard enough to break the skin, but definitely hard enough to bring tears), she leaves him right away.

(at which point the movie fades to black and I was laughing and BFF was screaming at the movie screen: "no no no NO!")

I don't know, maybe I'm the naive one. But I saw a movie about two consenting adults, maybe experimenting with a darker side of sex than others would enjoy or even know about, but trying to find their place in each other's hearts.

I've been in an abusive relationship before. This wasn't it.

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