Crazyland, revisited

I wrote about my recent anxiety issues here,  here,  here, and here. Figured it was time for an update.

I don't know. It kinda just... went away. I haven't been back to the therapist since the last free visit, and I haven't really needed to.

Well, maybe I needed to, but I haven't gone. The Agent and I still have some problems, but I haven't been lying to him and we're trying to work through our little quirks. I think maybe what I really need to do is stand up for something I really want to do, instead of keeping quiet and letting it fester inside, and then lying about doing it because I don't want The Agent to get upset.

Here are a couple of examples. My office is moving to a new location that's much closer to where we live. It will be a 6 minute drive to work, and maybe a 15 minute bike ride. I thought it would be nice to ride my bike to work once in awhile-- not every day, but once or twice a week in the nice weather.

I told The Agent about this idea, and he said, "Why don't you try to ride a bike around the block first, before you ride all the way to work."

Hmmph.

Then, two nights ago, I was surfing the internet, and I saw that our local theater was going to do a run of Grease in the fall, and the casting call would be in a couple of weeks. Dude, I love Grease! And wouldn't I make a great Rizzo? Ok, except I can't really sing, but maybe I could make the ensemble cast. I think that would be totally fun.

So, I told the Agent. I said, "What do you think of me trying out for a play at the civic theater?"

The Agent responded with, "I don't think that would be a good idea."

The Agent didn't give me a reason why it wouldn't be a good idea, and shame on me because I didn't ask him for a reason. Here are the reasons I can think of:

* He doesn't want me to feel bad when I try out and fail.
* He doesn't want me to overextend myself: working full time, taking care of two kids, and acting in a play that runs for a month, plus rehearsals every night.
* He doesn't want to have to do any extra work, like making extra dinners or taking care of the kids, while I'm working on the play.
* He's worried that I will get mauled coming out of the theater late one night.
* He's afraid that I will be awesome.

So, he said he didn't think it would be a good idea and I didn't push it. But I want to. I think it will be fun and it won't hurt anyone, and it's something that would make me feel good about myself if I succeeded. But if The Agent doesn't want me to do it and I do it anyway, isn't that a sign of disrespect? And why DOESN'T The Agent was me to do it, anyway?

Thoughts?

Need allergy remedies, ASAP!

Hello.

I feel like ass.

I have never had allergies as bad as I have this season. I don't know if it's because the new house is on the outskirts of town so I drive through farmland every day, or because it's been a windy Spring, or because I'm getting old.

I've been to the doctor twice for allergies this season. The first round, I was given Codeine, Claritin, Flonase, and I had my inhaler refilled. I was given Prednisone the second round.

I am still miserable. I am out of codeine, the other drugs are having absolutely no effect.

I thought the Prednisone was working for awhile. It's a steroid that's supposed to open your lungs and allow you to breath. But dummy me. I got in a tiff with The Agent. We have weeds in the front yard that I wanted to have pulled before Saturday. "Babe, can you pull the weeds in the front, please?" I asked on Wednesday. He didn't do it. Ugh. I have to do EVERYTHING. Fine. I'll just do it myself.

I was outside for all of 15 minutes before my throat was closing up from all the pollen.

Dammit.

Someone at work suggested I buy local untreated honey. The idea that if you're eating honey made from the pollen of local flowers, you'll build up an immunity. I figured it was worth a shot. So, I went to the farmer's market.

The honey girl showed me which honey to get, but said that I really needed to start taking it last winter in order to be ok now. OK, that really doesn't help me. But then the honey girl took me to an ice cooler in the back.

"Try this," holding up a plastic baggie of what looked like crushed sunflowers.

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's straight pollen," she answered. "A teaspoon of honey and teaspoon of the pollen, and you'll be fine in a week."

I was skeptical. It was $20 for a dime bag of daisy dust. I really didn't think it would work.

But I was desperate. I bought both.

I still can't breath. And I have honey and bitter tulip crumbs on my toast every morning.

Do you know of any magical allergy cures? Let's hear 'em!

Currently….

WWTK is on hiatus for a couple weeks, so I thought I’d steal this from Emily...


READING Fifty Shades Darker. It’s the second book of Fifty Shades trilogy. Don’t pretend like you’ve never heard of it, it’s been all over the internet. It’s super naughty, so naughty that I’m embarrassed to admit I’m reading it (but not embarrassed enough to stop reading it!).

LISTENING TO Tosh.0. I’m not a fan, although The Agent caught me laughing a minute ago. The Agent is watching it, I'm not.

WATCHING That would be Tosh.0. Still

DRINKING I’m not technically drinking anything, but the last thing I drank was a margarita. Because I'm cool like that.

LOVING My family

LOOKING FORWARD TO going to the allergist. I am so tired of feeling like poo. More on this in a day or two.

SURPRISED BY how clean I’ve been able to keep this house after a month of living here.

IN DESPERATE NEED OF Some cough syrup that actually works.

THANKFUL FOR my sweet babies

WANTING TO CHANGE the weather. This wind is making me want to tear my eyeballs out.

FAVORITE TIME OF DAY  My new favorite time of day is 5:20. I get home first now, and The Agent and the kids don't get home until 5:30. That's the best ten minutes of the day, right there.

WANTING TO BUY A dining room table… please find one for me. It needs to be solid wood, seat eight, and be under $1000. Go.

HOPEFUL FOR One of you will read what I want to buy and actually find me a table.

Emily's Entertaining Entourage

If you saw the previews this week, ABC is promising some drama! Let’s see how many boys cry over Emily.

But first of all, whose mom brings them breakfast in bed? Please tell me that’s just for the show. My mother has never done that for me. Whatever.

The first one on one date goes to Chris from Chicago. Their date doesn’t start until the evening, which I think is a bit of a rip off for poor Chris. Emily makes  Chris repel up the building for his dinner.

I think I’ve mentioned before that I don’t care for heights. I hope the producers gave Chris and Emily some Xanax before they started.

They make me it to the top of the building and Emily’s mouth is begging for a kiss, but Chris doesn’t make a move. Good boy, Chris! Be a gentleman.

During the dinner, Chris reveals that he’s only 25, and Emily is thrown. I hear ya, girl! I’d kick him to the curb, too.

But Emily gives him a rose because he’s cute and easy to talk to, and because there’s a private concert waiting for them. They also share their first kiss. No makeout session, just a sweet kiss.

My bff just texted me during this date and said she likes him. Yeah, he’s nice. And I think he’s the first guy she’s kissed. But he’s so young!

I missed who was selected for the group date because The Agent chose that moment to talk to me. Seriously, I should start taping these. But I did catch that Tony the lumber jack misses his kid and wants to make sure there’s a spark with Emily so he’s not wasting his time.

The guys have to meet all of Emily’s girlfriends, which I think is awesome. Meet the friends right away. The girlfriends will be able to sniff through all the BS right away when Emily can’t. I love that the guys are scared.

You should be scared. You should either be scared because you want to make a good impression or scared because you are full of poo poo.

The girlfriends really put the guys through some pressure. Well, except for Sean. The girls got a little crazy with the eye candy, and the good boy act  just melted their hearts.

Next, a bunch of random kids ran out and made the guys play  with them. Oh, man…. If you  had an ounce of brain cells in your head, you would play with those kids like there’s no tomorrow.

The girls love Sean, Doug, and Ryan. Me too…. Well, not really Ryan. Especially after he basically told Emily not to get fat if they get married. “I’d still love you, I just wouldn’t love on you.” Barf.

Tony is the winner for the first guy who cries on air. He’s crying because he’s missing his son so much. Ahhhh…. What a wus. I mean, sure, I would miss my kids, too. But don’t be such a girl! It’s time to man up, Dude!

Emily sees that Tony is hurting, and sees that he isn’t the one, so she tells him to go. Dude, I hope you really missed your son, because if you were playing a game, it sure backfired.

Sean gets the rose tonight. Good job, Sean. He’s a good guy.

Arie the race car driver gets the next one on one date, and she takes him to Dollywood for the day. Umm, is the parked closed for everyone but them? Is Dollywood lame to the peple of Tennessee? Seriously, the park is completely empty. That’s kind of spooky.

Dolly Parton “surprises” them and sings a song that she supposedly  wrote for the two of them. Yeah, right.

Dolly’s been married for 46 years??? So, she has to be 60, at the very least. I need to get the name of Dolly’s plastic surgeon. That guy is fantastic.

Here’s what I noticed. Emily’s doesn’t like Arie. Poor Arie was looking down at Emily as they danced, hoping that she would look up at him and they would have a moment so he could go in for a kiss. Emily refused to look at Arie. She kept her eyes locked on Dolly while on stage, almost as if she knew he was waiting for her to look at him.

And, did you notice that when Emily was being interviewed, she was all “Oh, Dolly Dolly Dolly,” but she never said a word about Arie? Poor Arie. His days are numbered.

They have a serious talk during dinner, and Emily really puts Arie in the hot seat. I was impressed with his answers. I think his answers are what saved him.

As a  side note, Emily is not funny.

Wow. Once again I am proven wrong. I turn to look at The Agent for a half a second and then all of the sudden I see Arie and Emily making out!  

The cocktail party is not filled with as much drama as I had hoped. Shelly (the egg) was put to rest. Kalon basically told her to shut up so he could talk. Alessandro said he would be compromising by entering into Emily’s world. Peace out, Alessandro.

Rose Recipients:
Chris (one on one)
Sean (group)
Arie (one on one)
Jef
Charlie
Doug
Michael
Travis
Alejandro
Ryan
John
Kalon
Nate

That means Stevie is going home (along with Alessandro earlier in the cocktail party and Tony earlier in the week).

If you’re keeping track, Emily has kissed Chris, Sean, and Arie this week-- Sean and Arie were both kissed  at the cocktail party, possibly within minutes of each other.

Any stand out guys tonight? Who do you love? Who do you love to hate?

Your Summer Movie Previews

There’s only like two movies this summer that aren’t remakes or sequels. I’m sorely disappointed. Here’s your summer movie blockbuster previews:

Men in Black III 5-25-12
I love Will Smith, but I’m a little concerned. Agent J goes back in time to the 1960’s to stop an alien who’s threatening to destroy the future of the MIB. Sounds lame.

Rock of Ages  6-1-12
A waitress and a busboy fall in love during the 1980’s hair bands era. It’s based on the musical with the same name

Snow White and the Huntsman 6-1-12

I like these movie adaptations of Snow White that depict her as a bad ass, and I am interested in seeing Kristen Stewart play something besides Edward Cullen’s girlfriend. But this movie comes on the heels of Mirror, Mirror, and we all know how that turned out.

Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted 6-8-12
 If you saw the first two movies, this is more of the same, except our friends from the zoo are in Monte Carlo this time. Bug is excited to see this one.

Prometheus 6-8-12
This is a sci-fi movie. It was originally designed to be a prequel to Alien (remember Sigourney Weaver?), but it’s being released as a stand alone movie, completely separate from the Alien story. Prometheus is the name of the ship. It’s still directed by Ridley Scott, which spells awesome to me.

I hate you, Dad 6-15-12
 This is an Adam Sandler comedy. What I’m getting from it is that Adam Sandler had an affair with a teacher when he was in high school and got the teacher pregnant, and now the movie is being set years later when the son is about to get married. I find this pretty unbelievable. No teacher would be seduced by a teen-aged Adam Sandler.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation 6-29-12
A sequel. Didn’t watch the first one, don’t plan on watching this one. The Agent can go see it with his friends.

The Amazing Spider-Man  7-3-12

This is not a sequel, it’s a retelling of the story. Again. Not interested. Plans for sequels are already in the works.

Ice Age: Continental Drift  7-13-12
I don’t know a whole lot about this 4th installment to the Ice Age series, other than all the main characters are returning, and Jennifer Lopez is joining the cast, playing Diego’s love interest. Thank goodness. That cat has some aggression he needs to let out. And yes, I watch too many kids’ movies. The Agent is looking forward to seeing this one.

The Dark Knight Rises 7-20-12
This is the third and supposedly final chapter of this newest Batman franchise. Seriously, I’m so tired of all the sequels and remakes. Let’s come up with some new ideas, ok?

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days 8-3-12
The third movie in the Wimpy Kid series. I’m sure that if I had a 10-year-old boy in my life I’d be all over this, but I don’t so I won’t.

The Bourne Legacy 8-3-12
Ummm…. I’m not sure how the movie is going to be Bourne Anything without Jason Bourne in it. His character was not written into the movie, so it must deviate from the novel quite a bit. I’m interested to see what fans will think of this. I’m guessing that both fans of Robert Ludlum and fans of Matt Damon will be disappointed.

Total Recall 8-3-12
A remake of the original, with Colin Farrell playing the lead. It’s been done before, we know what happens, but I’m still going to watch it. Love me some Colin Farrell!

Dog Fight 8-10-12
A Comedy-- Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis play two politicians running against each other for a seat in Congress. Love it.

Warm Bodies 8-10-12

I can’t find much about this movie. It's the zombie apocalypse, and apparently zombies just want to be loved. I don’t know. If it’s not The Walking Dead, I don’t need to see it.

Anything you're excited to see this summer?

Lucky Update

It’s been about a month since I last wrote about my brother, Lucky. To catch you up, He went to Reno with his grandparents for the weekend, and came back changed. He started hallucinating, believing that he was doing things that he hadn't done. He kept trying to leave, he believed we all had to leave in a big hurry, but he couldn't explain where. He was convinced that Bug and BK were in serious danger.

Poor guy. He went to the psychiatrist for a full examination. The psych believes that one of two things happened:
* Lucky suffered from some kind of traumatic event that we don’t know about. It would have to be something serious, like he witnessed a kidnapping or a murder or something equally disturbing, and his mind can’t handle it, so he’s shutting  down.
* Someone slipped him a roofie and he’s having a seriously bad reaction.  I would like to get my hands on the sicko who thought it would be funny to give a kid with CP a hallucinogen.

The psych gave Lucky some kind of medicine that would help him not hallucinate. He’s supposed to take the medicine for 3-6 months, then go off it. If he doesn’t start hallucinating again, we’ll know it was just a temporary thing. If he starts hallucinating again, it means he has some sort of permanent ailment, and he’ll have to go back on meds for life.

So, Lucky went on the meds, and at first, we all hated it. Poor Lucky was straight lethargic on it. The kids and I went over there one afternoon and he contributed nothing to the conversation. After we had left, he couldn’t even remember that we had been there in the first  place.

But he started sleeping again, and for that, we were thankful. And as his body began to get used to the meds in his system, he became more alive. We saw him on Mother’s Day and he was back to the Lucky I know and love. No more hallucinating, although he still can’t be left alone with the children, and my parents still take away his phone at night. But I am hopeful that he will be ok. Even if he is suffering from a permanent psychosis,  the meds are working, and he’s returning to us.

We Want to Know!

Join the party with Mamarazzi  and Crazymama!

{1} Tell us about your job/daily routine.

Let's see... alarm goes off at 5:45. I get up, get ready, get the kids ready, and we are out the door by 7 am. I drop BK off at daycare and drop Bug off at school, and I get to work at 8 am. I spend the day talking to attorneys about how much a person's life is worth. It's a very dark job. I leave at 5 and I'm home by 5:20. I start dinner. The Agent comes home with the kids by 5:30. We eat at 6 and then spend about a hour together as a family. Then it's bath and bed for the kids by 8. Then I can finally tidy up the house, watch tv, snuggle with The Agent, blog, etc. 

{2} What is your favorite place in your home to relax? (bonus points for a pic)

I'm liking my new backyard very much. It's not really landscaped, but there are several tress and it's always shady. A nice place to sit and relax with a cocktail! 

{3} Summer cool treat...popsicle or icecream?

Ice cream... although I really don't love either. Can I please have a margarita instead? 

{4} Be sweet to yourself, list 3 things you LIKE about YOU!

a) my green eyes

b) my small wrists

c) my ability to write a limerick with relative ease

{5} If someone saw my __________ I would likely die of embarrassment!

Naked butt!